The Feeling Of Now
It has been four months since I stepped out of my apartment. It’s a large two bedroom apartment with a huge hall and a nice balcony. From my bedroom I can see a plumeria, a laburnum, a fig and many other trees I don’t know the specie name of. It feels wonderful sitting in the balcony watching the sun moving in its arc that shifts with seasons. The world has turned calmer for good.
The piece of sky that I see has a shape
Without sides.
Sitting on this stiff chair rather uncomfortably
Eyes follow the trajectory of a lone flight
The color of the vastness is a no color
Somewhere away from azure or white
But bright.
“The quiet buds on the silhouette of spindly web
Against the ombre spacescape
Tell a story and not whine like we do
Of being tethered to earth
For our own good
Freedom has a root, not a chair
It is the truth, not a dare.
The arc on which rises the dawn
Is the circle on which I dance to the sun
Since ages unknown before being born
Through the course and not ticks of time
On words that refuse to rhyme
Drifting in the breezy siesta
On a fallen leaf.
Hibiscus waking to the buzz of a wasp
The grass blades growing like strokes of art
Canola waves cheerfully to the dull street
The trees weathering the heat of greed
A resilient sprig penetrating through concrete
I close my eyes to watch
The wise words of a lark.
The deep colors that I scooped in this spoon
To taste the melody of a visible tune
Hatching striations of hills and dunes
Tracing the esquisse of daylight moon.
I am reading this harmony
Sipping on the melting dusk
In this broken cup.”
Even in this positive solace I cannot stop myself from sensing a seething resentment; not very far from me. In the loud playfulness of children there is a sad sense of achievement that is willfully ignored by the most caring parent. I found my solace and I am not pretending that I am but many are. And that is what’s seething.
I have decided to come here and write my feeling of now everyday. Even if one of you readers find a comfort in these words I would feel nice yet wont call it a feat.
